What I've Learned about Marriage and Success - Ephesians 4:25

One of the things that you learn from being married for a while is that it doesn't take a triumphal entry to consider yourself a success.  I can't claim to have made much money in life, nor to have become in anyway famous (outside of a bunch of kids who recognize me as Mr. Powell; not quite the same thing), but I am proud to say that I have found success as a husband.  Now, don't get me wrong, I don't know any secret formulas (even though the bookstores are full of books that claim to have them), I've just tried to take seriously the advice of Paul in Ephesians 4:25 that husbands need to "love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her".
As a pastor, I hope that I have a clear notion of just how much Christ loved the Church (after all, that's what I preach about on a regular basis; Christ's love for us), and let me tell you, that's an ambitious goal.  {Note to husbands: we don't have any chance of matching Christ's love for the church when we love our wives, but that doesn't mean we're not obligated to try}. 
So what does it mean to love your wife as Christ loves the Church?  Step one, you need to put yourself 2nd.  That right there is the root of the problem for most men.  We may be willing to say "I love you", but we're not so keen on saying, "I love you  more than I love myself".  Sorry to rain on your parade, but if you're not willing to go that far, you'll never be much of a husband.
Which brings me back to my original thought; I've had some success in my marriage to my beautiful wife Nicole because I decided early on to demonstrate to her that I care for her more than I care for myself through simple acts of kindess.  Maybe that means bringing home flowers unexpectedly, or leaving a note for her; whatever form it takes, those simple things are the small steps we husbands need to be taking in order to build up our character in relation to our wives.  Guys, it isn't the big moments that make you a better man (because you'll fail in them if you wait for them to decide to step up), it's living like a servant toward your wife each and every day.