In a stunningly powerful analogy, the Apostle Paul tells Christian husbands that they are to love their wives, "just as Christ loved the church." Since we know that Christ loved the Church perfectly and self-sacrificially, the bar is set higher than we could imagine.
The only way to live up to it (while depending on the power of the Holy Spirit) is to love our wives as we love ourselves. Indeed, Paul tells us that loving your wife IS loving yourself.