What I've learned about marriage and failure

Over the years my wife has wondered if I ever get really upset; I've built up a reputation as a Stoic because of my even tempermant.  Not that there haven't been a few times when I've been pushed beyond my limit to endure, but they've been the rare exception.  In our marriage, this has at times been a blessing, allowing me to be a "rock" for Nicole to lean on.  At others times I've envied the way Nicole can find such release for her emotions, purging herself of the pain or sorrow through tears on my shoulder.
Because of this outward appearance, it may be assumed by some that I'm not all that affected by the emotions in others.  Actually, the opposite is true; nothing brought tears to my eyes quicker as a youth than the sight of my mother's tears (at a couple of funerals in particular); that connection was powerful, but I've found through our years of marriage that it isn't in the same league as the emotins connected to pain in the eyes of my wife.
I grew up being able to do most of the things that I wanted to do; school was easy, sports were not so much, but I found a home in cross-country and eventually in basketball when I finally grew.  My early disappointments (in particular being picked on by bullies as a small kid) were things that I could shake off with a joke or well-timed zinger.
Even during college when I was in a long-term relationship that didn't work out I didn't have that same connection to her that I now have with Nicole.  The end of that relationship hurt a lot, but it was still she and I and not we.  Being married changed everything. (that it doesn't for so many may have something to do with those high divorce statistics)  I no longer faced disappointment alone; if something that I was hoping for didn't happen (a job opportunity for example) I could no longer just laugh it off and allow my natural personality to insulate me.
During the last several years I have had to watch my wife struggle with the financial and job difficulties that we have faced.  I've done everything within my own power to help; but I can't fix the problem.  I've prayed for the situation endlessly; I've prayed for Nicole daily, but I can't make that hurt in her eyes go away.  If I succeed at something, she shares my joy, which is nice, but if I fail at something, Nicole ends up being the one who feels the pain.  Of all of the things in life that I wish I could take back or change, these top the list.  As a man who loves his wife more than anyone else he's ever met, how can I reconcile that love and desire for her to only have good things from our relationship with the stress and pain she feels when I'm not able to "fix" the problem we're facing?  I've spent nights staring up at the ceiling wondering about that; hoping for an answer.
I've always said, "the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord" (I didn't make that up of course), but until Nicole and I became one in the eyes of God I never knew how hard it was to say that for the both of us.