Sermon Video: Divorce: From God's Perspective - Mark 10:1-12

 Marriage being a fundamental building block of human society, questions about the purpose of marriage, and the morality/legality of divorce, touch upon nearly everyone. Given that, the perspective of God, as given by Jesus when asked to interpret the Law of Moses, has immense value. Jesus' answer is rooted in the Genesis account of Creation, as he emphasizes that God's ideal is that two halves would become a whole and remain united. Given that Moses offered a divorce exception, what should our response be as a Church to this issue? (Hint: It involves grace, but you should know that already.)

Sermon Video: Why do people get married? - 1 Corinthians 7:36-40

Why do people get married?  While the reasons abound, the Apostle Paul, in finishing the section of his letter to the Church in Corinth that focuses upon sex and marriage, touches upon four of the more common ones: honor, passion, compulsion, and happiness.  The text itself focuses upon issues relating to the decision to marry or not to marry from a 1st century cultural perspective, but the idea of why people choose to get married (and widows/widowers to remarry or not) is certainly relevant for any cultural setting.

In the end, the will of God allows freedom for Christians to decide if they want to be married, and when, within the framework of the Law of God as outlined in his Word.  Within that framework: one man, one wife, for life, it is not a moral issue for a disciple of Jesus Christ to marry or not.  Some will prefer to continue living in celibate singleness, some will decide that after losing one spouse to death that they do not want to remarry, but some will choose to enter into the holy bond of marriage, emphasizing some combination of honor, passion, or the pursuit of happiness in their minds (but hopefully not compulsion).  God wants his people to be happy, as our heavenly Father, God knows that true and lasting happiness is only found in union with him, not rebellion against him.  The Christian worldview thus emphasizes the primacy of obedience to the Law of God, placing issues of love, happiness, rights, or freedoms behind conformity to the dictates of God's righteousness, holiness, and justice (and not just relating to marriage, in all parts of our lives).  Within the framework of marriage (and sexual purity) ordained by God, there is room for us to consider what our honor, passion, and happiness is asking of us.  {FYI, the point in question: to marry or not, is illustrated in the sermon by my retelling of my own proposal of marriage to my beautiful wife Nicole, in October of the year 2000.}

To watch the video, click on the link below:

Sermon Video: Divorce a non-Christian spouse? 1 Corinthians 7:12-16

As Paul continues to answer questions from the church in Corinth regarding sex and marriage, a new wrinkle in the long-established teaching from the Scriptures about divorce is addressed: Should a believer divorce his/her non-Christian spouse?  This is not a question answered by Jesus in the Gospels where he taught against divorce with a very limited exception, but now that the Gospel has gone out beyond the Jewish community to include many formerly pagan gentiles, there are a number of new believers whose spouse has not accepted the Gospel.  In his next letter to Corinth, Paul will warn against entering into are marriage with an unbeliever lest you be "unequally yoked", but what should a Christian do about an already existing marriage?

The answer from Paul is unequivocal, if possible, the marriage should be preserved.  If the faith of the one who has become a Christian, whether it be husband or wife, is to be the cause of a split/divorce, it should not come from the Christian him/herself.  It may be that the non-believers wants to leave, that their rejection of God's work in their spouse is forceful enough to split the marriage, but that is the choice of the non-believers.  The Christian should stay, if possible, but why?  Paul outlines two important potential benefits of staying: the godly influence upon both the non-believing spouse, and the godly influence upon the children.  For the sake of the soul of the non-believing spouse, and for the sake of the religious upbringing of the children, remaining in the marriage is to be the default for Christians.  The hope, in the end, is that both spouse and children will also come to know the grace of God that is in Christ Jesus.

To watch the video, click on the link below:

Sermon Video: Marriage and Temptation - 1 Corinthians 7:3-7

In 1 Corinthians 7:3-7, the Apostle Paul delves into a topic that most people would rather not talk about, or at least would be embarrassed discussing in public: sex within marriage.  While most people know that the Bible forbids sex outside of marriage in both the Old Testament and the New, the Word of God at the same time encourages sex within marriage as a blessing from God.  Far from elevating celibacy as holier than marital sex, Paul commends regular sexual activity between husbands and wives as the natural God-honoring consequence of their union as "one flesh".  To deny this within a marriage may lead to frustration, temptation, and eventually sexual immorality.  The hallmark of this passage of Scripture is the idea of a mutually beneficial sexual relationship within marriage.  The idea of dominance or selfishness is nowhere to be found, rather a servant's heart of putting your spouse's needs first is emphasized, which ought to result in both the husband and the wife being respected within the marriage.  Why does God care about what happens sexually in a marriage?  What kind of loving Father would not concern himself with such an important facet of the foundation institution of society?

To watch the video, click on the link below:

Sermon Video: God Hates Divorce - Malachi 2:13-16

We all know that God "is love", even those who rarely, if ever, attend church seem to know that, but does God "hate" too?  The Word of God makes it clear that there are things which God hates, primarily things connected to idolatry, false testimony and violence among his people, but included within that list is something generally accepted by society: divorce.  The prophet Malachi declares that the LORD has said, "I hate divorce", a statement of God's response to the dissolution of marriages that leaves little wiggle room to those who value the authority of the scriptures.

Why does God hate divorce?  Malachi lists several reasons: (1) It is the breaking of a vow witnessed by God, (2) it is a rejection of the design of God as our Creator that two would become one in marriage, (3) it has a negative affect upon our responsibility to raise up "godly offspring", and (4) it puts the vulnerable party, usually women and children, into danger by depriving them of support and protection.

The Church is not unfamiliar with divorce, we have seen ample evidence that the people of God, when society allows them to do so, are willing to utilize divorce at rates nearly equal to those of their non-believing countrymen.  What ought we to do in response?  First, we must follow Malachi's example and warn our fellow Christians of the emotional and spiritual consequences of divorce, then we must help those who have made the mistake of seeking divorce to find forgiveness, as well as helping those who have been harmed by divorce to find reconciliation and healing.

To watch the video, click on the link below:

Sermon Video: Sexual Immorality among God's people - 1 Corinthians 5:1-5

There are few issues more frequently discussed or arousing more passionate responses than those relating to sex and sexuality.  Both the Old Covenant given under Moses, and the New Covenant initiated by Jesus, contain significant portions dedicated to defining the proper boundaries of sexual expression.  In both cases, that definition relegates such expression to that within the marriage of one man and one woman.
In his letter to the church at Corinth, Paul expresses his dismay that the people of that church have failed to live up to that standard in that they have not disciplined a member who has married his former step-mother.  In addition to pronouncing judgment on that individual, Paul also commands the church to publicly expel the offending member in the hope that "tough love" will be the necessary prompt to cause repentance.

To watch the video, click on the link below:

Sermon Video: A House Divided - Luke 11:14-26

As Jesus resume his journey toward Jerusalem for the final confrontation, he heals a man tormented by an evil spirit which had made him mute.  The miracle itself was no different than dozens of other miracles that Jesus had performed, and the healing no different than many, many others that Jesus had healed, but some in the crowd saw this not as the act of grace that it was, but as an insidious attempt by the devil to deceive the people of God.  The doubters in the audience accused Jesus of casting out demons under the authority of Beelzebub the prince of demons, in other words, they were calling Jesus a double-agent, saying that his acts of righteousness were in reality acts of deception.  That such an accusation, against Jesus of all people, is ludicrous doesn’t stop it from happening, just as the lack of evidence doesn’t stop some people from withholding vaccines from their kids.  This crazy situation is troubling, but it does provide Jesus with a chance to illustrate a principle that is applicable in nearly every human interaction and even within the life of every person: A house divided against itself will fall.

The universal principle given by Jesus has wide application, it applies to nations, too many of which are torn by civil strife, it applies to businesses, institutions, churches, families, and marriages.  We cannot long endure when were are fundamentally divided as a group of people.  This is a danger in secular situations just as it can be deadly to a church.  Because division is so dangerous, we ought always to be supporting reconciliation and healing, trying to hold together those who are in danger, and helping to pick up the pieces when splits do occur.  That this is a fundamental problem in the church and society as a whole is beyond doubt.  The divorce rate in America confirms our weakness on the issue of unity, as does the poor record of church splits.

Beyond the groupings of people in danger because of division, we must also be aware that individual people can be torn internally by conflicting goals, an unclear sense of purpose, or even simply a lack of commitment.  We cannot serve two masters, both will be disappointed in us, and we cannot avoid choosing which side we are on because we have already begun by being on the side at war with God, our only chance is to make peace with God through Jesus Christ.

Jesus ends his comments with two important additions to this principle: Those who aren’t with me are against me, and it will be worse for those who see the light but don’t change.  These two thoughts remind us that this is no game, God takes very seriously our choice to either continue as we are or repent and follow him, the good news is that when we do choose to join his side and help out in the work of the kingdom, we’ve chosen the side that has already been victorious in the battle, a battle won by Jesus on Easter morning.

To watch the video, click on the link below:

Sermon Video

Is the relationship between a pastor and his church like a marriage?

I've been thinking about the turmoil that can happen between a pastor and a church when the relationship goes sour.  I know of several pastors to whom this has happened over the years, some of which you might expect it, and others of whom anyone would be surprised to find them in that situation.  The same could be said of the churches, there are some whose "personality" is such that you aren't surprised to learn they ran another preacher out of town, and others that you thought it would never be involved in a bad pastor/church relationship.
So, is the best analogy to describe the relationship between a pastor and his church the familiar marriage covenant?  On the surface we know that most pastors will not stay at the church they begin with until "death do us part"; in many denominations they have no choice in the matter, a Bishop makes those decisions.  But aside from the realization that the relationship is not forever, the dynamic is very similar.
The foundation of marriage: mutual self-sacrificial behavior, is also crucial to a healthy ministry.  If the pastor simply gives, and the church simply takes (or vice versa) it won't last and it won't be healthy.  Likewise, the policy of honest communication and holding your tongue if you don't have anything constructive to say will help foster peace between a husband and wife as well as between a pastor and his congregation.  This sort of comparison could continue.  In the end, what is needed is a mutual relationship where neither side is dominated and neither side is used or neglected.
If the relationship between a pastor and his church runs into trouble that goes beyond the ordinary bumps in the road the same sort of messy divorce that sadly plagues marriages in America today also occurs.  There will be some who love the pastor and feel upset that he's been shown the door (or left of his own accord) and there will be some who hated the guy and are happy to see him go.  Children who have grown up in a divorced household will recognize this blame game and the guilt and regret that go with it.
Bad endings to a pastor/church relationships cannot be entirely avoided, neither can the hurt feelings that accompany them.  The burden that is placed upon us, as Christians, is to be people of healing and reconciliation.  To follow our God's example and offer second chances to those who have gone astray, and to protect and defend the God ordained relationship between a pastor and his church much as we would a marriage within our own family.  In the end, without mutual sacrifice, respect, and love; no marriage, whether between a husband and wife or a pastor and a church, can be expected to last.

"It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love."

Those words of wisdom were written by Dietrich Bonhoeffer in a letter to his best friend, who was soon to be married, from the Gestapo prison he was held in during the last years of his life.  The idea that marriage sustains love, and not the other way around is one that our culture today need so desperately to understand.  Far too many marriages end when the two people in it don't feel like they're "in love" anymore; the emotions that brought them together have lapsed or faded (as most honest people who have been married a long time will tell you they at times do), and therefore the rational for the marriage itself is gone.
From God's perspective, the value of the sacrament (to borrow a word from our Catholic friends) of marriage is that it sustains us as a union of two of God's children through good times and bad.  It is not dependent upon what is felt but rather rests upon the promise and commitment that has been made before God and man. 
What is it that brings a marriage through a rough patch or dark days and back again into the light and joy of love?  The very commitment that is needed from both man and woman to stay with this union regardless.  It is when we honor each other by remaining true to our word that we allow God carry us through the circumstances that may destroy a marriage not founded upon trust in God, so that we can rediscover what made love bloom in the first place.
When a marriage breaks up over the ebb and flow of life a profound opportunity for growth and character has been forever lost.  It is for our own benefit that we should remain and strive for our marriages.  Our culture would like people to think that they deserve to find happiness and therefore should leave when a marriage isn't "happy", but that lie is selling something is cannot deliver.  Where is happiness without someone to share it with?  Where is happiness in selfish decision making?
It is when two become one, till death, that love can truly be that which sustains us.

Ten years and counting...

It was ten years ago today that Nicole and I shared our first kiss.  From that day forward we've been together (married 8 1/2 years now).  We've already lasted beyond the average length of marriages in America today (somewhere around 7-8 years) and we have no intention of stopping.  The sad truth is that many in our society, and far too many of them are Christians, don't take their marriage vows seriously.  People stand before God, promise to love someone for the rest of their life, and then simply walk away when the grass is greener or they just don't feel "happy".  Forget for a moment the disaster this has been for children whose lives are torn apart (and who may never really trust anyone as a result), and simply marvel at the audacity of assuming that a promise made to another Christian (assuming Christians at least follow Paul's guidelines in this; I know many do not) in the house of God; standing before the altar, with a man of God giving witness; marvel that this promise isn't considered to be more important than one's own "happiness". {we don't need to debate whether divorced people are happier than married people, they are clearly not happier being "free"}
It is amazing to me that people can simply give up.  {I'm not talking about the two exceptions that I believe the Bible would sanction, the cheated upon spouse who MAY leave if they want, or the spouse who is abused}.  Most divorces in America today end for reasons of convenience; a horrible excuse if ever there was one.
Of all of the challenges facing the Church today, this may be the most dire.  If we don't promote marriage, encourage marriage, and support marriage (on an individual basis and the principles behind it), how can we possibly bear witness to the Gospel's power to change lives?  If Christianity in America is going to stand against moral relativism and offer true Hope for those who are lost, we MUST redeem the marriage in our own house and begin to once again take our vows seriously.
For Nicole and I the very idea of considering an end to our marriage is off limits.  Neither of us has ever threatened anything of the sort while mad, nor do we allow ourselves to wonder what life might be like apart; we're in this together, together for life.
It's been ten years since my wife and I first kissed, God willing, we'll be celbrating this day for many years to come.