My daughter turns 9 this week, what that makes this dad think about

It was in the fall of 2014 that I put Nicole's first sonogram into our Sunday worship PowerPoint and told the congregation that I had a picture to share with them.  There were gasps right away from the ladies who knew what they were looking at, everyone else needed an explanation.  Clara Marie was born in 2015, changing my wife Nicole's and my own life for good, and changing it for the good.

I spent a lot of time dealing with unpleasant ideas and people, that isn't an indictment of my congregation or this town, as they have been stupendous in their support of myself and my family, but a reality that reflects the human condition.  I research, write, and speak about racism, nationalism, sexism, corruption, abuses of power, heresy, greed, lust, and all the rest.  I also get to talk about love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control (the Fruit of the Spirit), but my own nature as a communicator and my personality often draw me toward those people and causes who need to be defended against evil.  What does any of that have to do with Clara?  Clara is a ray of sunshine and a breath of fresh air.  She hugs her dad with clinging arms and gives far too moist kisses.  She laughs with gusto, believes the best is possible, and doesn't know yet that life and people can really kick you when you're down.  I know that some day Clara will change, somebody will disappoint her, break her heart, but I'll appreciate every day that she has remaining with her youthful optimism, and pray that they continue.

That Clara is about to be 9 already also reminds me of our need to make the most of the time we have in this life, to borrow from Dead Poets Society, we need to "seize the day."  Clara being 9 reminds me that I came to Franklin more than 12 years ago, that now more than half of our married life has been spent here in PA.  Until 2023, the longest tenure of my career had been teaching at Portland Adult and Community Education, now it is being here at First Baptist of Franklin.  Unless God has plans for me that I don't know about, this will be the longest and most impactful chapter of my life; that it also happens to coincide with the years that I have been blessed to be called "Daddy" by my little girl only amplifies that thought.  

I also think at times of reflection like this about the men and women who haven't been blessed with the role of parenthood, and those who have become estranged from, or have mourned their lost children.  It was at a funeral a few years ago when a church member about my own age asked me to read a poem about her dad that I realized that being a dad had changed my emotional make-up.  Funerals can be hard for me, other peoples' grief can hit me hard (that's inherited from my mom) but this wasn't that, it was the thought that popped into my head of Clara having to grieve me some day that choked me up so thoroughly that day.  That being said about a child mourning his/her parent, I can't imagine what those of you who have carried the scars of a child who was only in your hopes, or who was with you for far too short a time, have been through.  May God grant you peace, that you still function each day with that pain is a testament to the strength you must have.

Lastly, being Clara's dad is one of the top three things I've ever had a hand in.  I say top 3 because I'm not counting being a child of God who was redeemed by Jesus as something I had a hand in, that was 100% God's grace, the Spirit's calling, and my parents' faithfulness; I don't take any credit on that one.  Those three things are, then, being the pastor of a congregation, Nicole's husband, and Clara's dad.  God has been good to me, I'm blessed with all three of those right now, and the knowledge that the one that was all grace (my salvation) will remain even if/when the others have come to a close.

If you read this someday, Clara, know that your dad is amazed by his Silly Pants* and loves you more than the words he's typing can ever express.

*The nickname Nicole gave her, appropriately she has embraced this accurate description and refuses to have any other nickname.

Seeing the world through a father's eyes

For those of you who don't know, I came to fatherhood later in life than most of my peers.  My wife Nicole and I had already been married for nearly 15 years, I had been a teacher at Portland Adult and Community Education for ten years, concurrently a pastor at 1st Baptist of Palo for five years, and moved here to Franklin PA to be the pastor at First Baptist of Franklin just over three years prior to the birth of our beautiful Clara Marie.  As much life experience as I had: marriage, teaching, being a pastor, all of which had their own unique challenges and lessons to be learned, nothing changed my point-of-view as much as becoming a father.  Books that I had once read, and am now re-reading (I do that a lot), with a father-daughter relationship, or TV/Movies that hadn't struck me that way before, now touch at something in my heart and mind that is both real and powerful.  {For example: The girl in the red dress in Schindler's List, while always being a gut punch, would shake me much harder now}  I consider myself to be a person of empathy and compassion, by the grace of God, it is a characteristic one must have to be an effective pastor, but nothing reinforces these Christian virtues in our hearts quite like having had a similar experience; its just the way we work as human beings.

Clara on the day of her birth, holding dad's finger.

Clara on her way to her first day of pre-school this past August

Hebrews 4:15-16 (NIV)
15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

You don't need me to tell you that our experiences powerfully affect us, both for the better and for the worse, but the words of Hebrews offer an insight into our relationship with God that is truly profound.  Jesus knows what it is like to struggle, to feel tired, to be in pain.  Jesus knows what it is like to wait patiently, to have to trust in your friends, and to be let down by them.  Jesus knows the sorrow of being at the graveside of a parent, the frustration of being rejected by people you're only trying to help, and the joy of helping a 'lost cause' find purpose in life again.  Jesus has been there, and his empathy for your life situations is real.  That alone would be a Truth to "cling to when the rain set in".  But Hebrews tells us something far more important: Jesus knows what is like to be you without the failure of sin.  One of the reasons why we have empathy for other people is that many of us recognize the wisdom of the phrase, "there but for the grace of God, go I".  In other shoes we might equally fail, or we might even do worse, than the person whom we now empathize with in their struggles.  That compassion compels us to act, but that weakness limits how much we can do to help.  Not so with Jesus.  Not only does Jesus know what it is like to be you, but he knows what is necessary to overcome and be victorious in your situation as well.  I, and others like me, can comfort you, maybe even assist you, Jesus can save you.  As followers of Jesus Christ, we can point out the way to hope, Jesus is the way.
What do we do with this knowledge?  Hebrews offers the answer there as well, approach the 'throne of grace with confidence', knowing that in our time of need, our compassionate AND victorious savior, who empathizes with our plight, is both willing and capable of giving us the mercy and grace we need to live righteously, no matter what. 

Sermon Video: The Best Dad in the Bible - Job 1:1-5

Who is the best dad in the Bible?  If you ask that question about mothers, there is some stiff competition, but unfortunately, when considering fathers in the Bible, many of the most famous men struggled in their role as a father.  One exception to this trend is Job.  Job was not only a father of ten children, but also a man of noble character, exceptional reputation, and a successful businessman.  How do we know that Job was a good father?  First, Job made sure that his own character and relationship with God were exemplary.  To be a good father, one must first be a good man.  Too many fathers have destroyed their ability to be a good father by failing morally as a man, Job did not falter as a father by falling to temptations.  Beyond this firm foundation, Job also saw the spiritual health of each of his children to be his responsibility.  He acted as priest for his family, making sacrifices on behalf of his children to ensure that they maintained their relationship with God.  Therefore, Job provided for his family, both physically and spiritually, this same combination of responsibility belongs to all of us who have been given the privilege by God of being called a father.

To watch the video, click on the link below:

Sermon Video: Reflections on her birth - various texts

This week's events necessitated a one week hiatus from our study of Titus because it marked the arrival of my daughter, Clara Marie.  My wife Nicole and I give thanks to God for her safe delivery and Nicole's health through the birthing process as well.  There were people praying from Pennsylvania to Michigan, all of whom have our gratitude.
This message focuses on three passages of Scripture that spoke to me as I pondered the experiences of the past week: Luke 13:34, which speaks of God's willingness to help people, but mankind's reluctance to accept it.  I thought of this verse as Nicole went through labor, for I could do nothing to take that pain away, nor nothing to help ease it beyond emotional support.  I wanted to help, and Nicole would have been glad to accept it, but I was powerless to do so.  God has the power to transform the life of each and every person on the planet, it is mankind's stubborn rebellion that holds the grace of God at bay.  The second passage, Hebrews 12:2 speaks of Jesus' ability to look beyond the agony of the cross to the glory that lay in his victory at the resurrection.  In a similar way, mothers going through the labor of childbirth take comfort in knowing that their trial and tribulation will result in new life, joy exists on the other side of pain.  The last passage, Ecclesiastes 11:5, speaks of the mystery of the wonder of human life, of God's amazing hand of creation that forms a distinct human being within the mother's womb.  Witnessing my daughter's birth, I felt the awe of God's creative power, of his ability to turn a biological process in a wondrous gift.

To watch the video, click on the link below:
Sermon Video

Sermon Video, "As a father has compassion on his children" Psalm 103

When searching for a sermon text for Father's Day, it becomes painfully clear that there are few fathers in the Bible who are known for being good fathers.  This lack of proper fathers is the single greatest need in American society, affecting millions of homes and countless children growing up without a godly father's influence.  In Psalm 103, David highlights the action, heart, and mind of an amazing father, our heavenly father.  God, because of his love and compassion, is an example of the type of father each of us would want as our own.  Throughout the psalm, the example of God resonates with father's as a how-to guide to parenting.  Not only biological fathers, but father figures and anyone and everyone trying to fill the void of a missing father, all would benefit from copying the attitude of God toward the wayward children of humanity.  In the end, God earns the praise directed to him, and so will earthly fathers if they too learn from his love, compassion, and wisdom.

To watch the video, click on the link below:
Sermon Video

Where are the fathers?

When special Sundays roll around it's always an option to take a break in whatever sermon series I'm doing and write something appropriate to that day.  With Christmas and Easter, it isn't an option, the message always reflect the holiday (they are after all, holy days).  With Mother's Day, Father's Day, Memorial Day, the 4th of July, and Thanksgiving, the option is always there when I decide to take it.

This year for Mother's Day I didn't break from the messages I've been preaching in Philippians.  This upcoming Sunday is Father's Day.  Having preached eight messages in a row out of Philippians (from 1:1 to 2:11), I thought it was time for a break.  So where do I turn for a message that will speak to God's people on Father's Day?

If it had been Mother's Day, there would be no shortage of stellar mothers whose stories I could use to illustrate a moral or theme.  I could have used Jochebed, Hannah, Naomi, or Mary (to name some of the easiest choices).  But what fathers can I use who distinguished themselves in the Bible as a father?  Suddenly, the list seems short.  Let's see, how about Abraham?  Ishmael votes no.  How about Isaac?  Esau says try again.  How about Jacob?  Joseph isn't too keen on that one.  What about Eli?  Yikes, both of his sons were notorious sinners.  Then certainly we could use Samuel, his mother was on the list for ideal mothers; nope, both of his sons "did not walk in his ways".  I'm getting worried here; this doesn't look promising.  Then certainly we could use David, isn't he a man chosen by God?  Sadly, Absalom thinks we ought to avoid talking about his relationship with his father.  We could use Joseph, after all he was a man of character in the birth narrative, but we don't know anything about his relationship with Jesus.

Do you see the pattern?  To find a good mother one need simply look around in the Bible, there's plenty of them.  To find a good father, you need the scour the Scriptures or avoid the unpleasant sides of the stories of men like David.

Are you surprised?  If you've spent any time looking at and analyzing our society you shouldn't be.  The single greatest flaw in modern American culture and society is a lack of fathers.  We have plenty of boys willing to create children, but precious few men willing to be fathers.  Men, this indictment falls squarely on our shoulders.  You or I may have fulfilled our obligations, but literally millions of men have miserably failed their children.  Single moms raising their children may be awesome, but they're not meant to carry that burden alone.  Some kids may turn out OK without a father, but the education, social welfare, and criminal justice systems are full to the brim of kids who haven't been so lucky.  We, as American men, have failed.  It doesn't matter which statistic of social ills you look at, they're all made worse by absent or lackluster fathers.  Can anybody honestly not see the connection between teen pregnancy/abortion and absent fathers?  Is it hard at all to see the connection that gang activity, gun violence, and drugs have with fathers who are MIA?

Father's Day is a tough one.  I'm just glad that I can preach about our Heavenly Father; at least then I'll know that everyone in the congregation has a good one.

Missing Fathers lead to trouble

I was reading the paper the other day and came across and essay that talked about all of the social ills that are tied to absent fathers.  From poverty to criminal activity, a host of social ills can be easily tied through statistics to men who create children but don't father them.  My first thought upon seeing the title of the article was, "Well, duh, tell me something I don't know."  Anyone who works in the social sciences in any way, interacting with humanity on a daily basis, should be able to see that absent fathers is the biggest problem in our society today.  What drives moral scourge of our society, abortion, if not women left in the lurch by men acting like boys.  What causes promiscuity among young women if not the need for love that their father's did not give them?  What leads boys to try to act tough without any understanding of knowing when to walk away if not the lack of a father who demonstrated how to know the difference?
When I worked for ten years as an alternative education teacher I faced the results of absent fatherhood each and every day.  The vast majority of our students had little or no relationship with their father.  He had either walked away from the family, was in jail, or was never in the picture in the first place.  Was it any wonder that these young boys had aggression issues, or that these young girls felt desperate for male acceptance?  It wasn't their fault that adults had chosen to put their mistakes on their shoulders, but they were the ones having to try to pick up the pieces.  In the end, the ones that stuck with it, that earned their diplomas, made all of their teachers proud because they overcame a burden that society should not be placing upon children.
No society can long endure without two parent homes.  We may tell ourselves that single parents can do just fine; and some are certainly doing heroic things on their own, but the merciless statistics bear out that missing fathers are the harbinger of societal woe.  When will men in this nation begin to act like men?  When will women say "enough is enough" and stop accepting boys when they need men? 
Nobody needs to tell me what is wrong with America, I see it in each broken heart, in each life gone wrong, in each tale of sorrow which confronts my ministry.  Where is dad?  Where are the fathers?