An interesting thing happened to me two Sundays ago that has been gnawing at my mind since. As I always try to do when we have visitors join us for worship, I spoke with a new family in the brief moments before church was to begin. They were, like so many individuals and families that had joined us for a week, or two, in recent years, looking for a new church home. Other than visitors from out-of-town, and those who join us of their own accord without a previous church background (an answer to prayer!), most of those who seek a new church are doing so because of something that was amiss where they had previously attended.
Given that this happens fairly regularly, and that some of these new folk will stick around while others will keep looking, my brief conversation with this family wouldn't have stuck in my mind if I didn't have a pertinent section in my sermon on Romans 15:1-6 that I had actually written in as an addition that very morning when I was reviewing my message:
"A quick note, the current habit of Christians self-sorting into homogenous local churches which only contain people who look, act, and think like they already do is in part an attempt to avoid this hard work of self-transformation and discipleship, and thus inherently an unhealthy development in the Church as a whole. Given modern mobility and technology it will not be easy to overcome the tendency of most people to seek out a church primarily on the criteria of being 'comfortable' there."
At that point in the sermon I added an ad-lib to the effect that the people here in this congregation don't need to agree with me on everything, especially the cultural and political issues of the day (about which most wouldn't know if they agree with me or not given my reluctance to speak publicly on them, as I've noted over the years).
Without sharing the particulars of why that one family had joined us a few weeks ago, I knew it wasn't because they were avoiding the challenges of discipleship by seeking out a homogenous church community.
But, as pastors often do when they realize that a portion of their sermon touches directly on the life of someone sitting in the pew, I hope I wasn't misunderstood, I hope it didn't feel like I was aiming those words in their direction.
{FYI, 95% of the time the whole, "He's talking about me in the sermon!" phenomenon is the thought of the person in the pew not the intention of the person behind the pulpit. After writing and delivering more than 750 sermons, I can honestly say that it has never occurred to me to aim what I'm writing at one individual or family, that's just not how the sausage is made.}
Here's why I hope I wasn't misunderstood: There is indeed a big difference between those who seek out a "comfortable" church where they won't be challenged in their beliefs and attitudes, and those who seek out a healthy church where they will be discipled and asked to serve.
It isn't an easy decision to leave a church, at least it shouldn't be, even if that church has become an unhealthy, even a toxic place. To leave feels like giving up, like conceding that you don't see much hope of things changing anytime soon. Honestly, this topic ought to feel different to single people than to parents. I may feel confident that I can protect myself from negativity in a church that has grown unhealthy and still be a positive influence on those around me, but taking that risk on behalf of your kids is no small thing. Honestly, I wouldn't let my kid be a part of a church overflowing with the hatreds of "Christian" Nationalism or the materialism of the Prosperity Gospel, to give two common examples, even if I felt called to stay there myself and try to make a difference.
In the end, I'm not in the business of "sheep stealing." If people come to our doors because there is a problem (real or imagined) with the place they previously worshiped, we will welcome them with kindness no questions asked, that goes without saying. Maybe God is leading them here, maybe he isn't, I'm certainly not in a position to judge that matter for them. If where they were previously wasn't a healthy church, for whatever reason, they will be welcome among us, and hopefully they will find God's presence and the challenge of discipleship in our midst. But I'm not trying to grow this church on the back of disgruntled Methodists (sadly a numerous bunch in our county given recent events), disillusioned Presbyterians, or angry Catholics. What I hope for, and what all of the clergy I've known and worked with in this community for more than a decade likewise hope for, is a collective Church in our community that allows those who don't know Jesus to see glimpses of him in us. What I hope for, and so do my fellow pastors, is that we together may add new members to the family of God, new sinners saved by grace, new lives redeemed by the blood of the Lamb. There will always be a rearranging of chairs within our various congregations, some growing some shrinking, and a flow of people between us, what matters in the end is whether or not that migration is making the Church healthier or unhealthier, whether or not it is supporting or harming our universal collective mission of being salt and light in this world.
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