- DO...Seek my help when you need it. It doesn't matter if its the middle of the night, it doesn't matter if you're not a member, or even if you're new to the congregation. If you are in a spiritual crisis (or an emotional, relational, financial, or health one) please don't try to go it alone. An FYI, I may have run an ultra-marathon last week, but I'm no masochist, I don't keep my cell phone next to my bed; if you don't get an answer on my cell between 11 PM - 7 AM, leave a voice mail or text and then call the parsonage number.
- DON'T...Call me before calling 9-1-1 if you have a health/safety emergency. I'm not a doctor, nor have I medical training beyond CPR, nor am I a psychiatrist, or a suicide-prevention specialist. In a genuine medical emergency, seek medical help first, then call me or have a relative call me and I'll meet you at the hospital. If it is a safety emergency, call the police, they're trained to help on those situations.
- DO...Seek my advice and counsel on issues of morality. Applying Biblical principles to our chaotic lives can be difficult, while what you read from a book or off the internet might be helpful, we have a relationship for a reason, so that I can understand what the Word of God would say, not to someone like you, but to you.
- DON'T...Seek my legal counsel, nor my opinion on political matters. Just as medical school was not in my past, nor was law school, if you need legal advice seek a competent lawyer. If there is an ethical dimension to your legal issue, I would be happy to offer counsel, but the law itself is beyond the scope of my training. In terms of politics, I do indeed have well informed and Bible-based opinions (in my case, ones informed also by a deep study of history), but you're out of luck if you want to know what they are. Why? As I've said on many an occasion, I will not risk your relationship with God, as supported by your relationship with his local church, in order to gain power/influence in this life. Political power is transitory and fleeting, the Kingdom of God is forever, it isn't hard for me to choose which I care more about.
- DO...Ask questions and share your insights following my sermon on Sunday, I'm glad to hear that you liked it, if you did, but even more eager to know what your response is to the message I've prepared from the Word. Likewise, if you're at Bible study on Wednesday, please speak up and ask questions as we work through the text, share what you see, what you've read before, the best Bible study is one of interaction. Of course, you know that if you don't say anything during Bible study, I'm more than capable of filling the whole hour with my own talking, it just isn't as effective as a back-and-forth conversation.
- DON'T...Begin your phone call to me, or conversation, with, "I'm sorry to bother you, but..." or "I didn't want to disturb you at this hour, but..." They're not necessary. It isn't a bother, and you didn't disturb me, especially if the call reflects a true need. Not only is it my job to be available and to be willing to set things aside to meet sudden needs, but far more importantly it is my calling. As an ordained minister, one who has accepted the solemn duty to act as shepherd of a flock of our Lord Jesus, I don't consider your troubles to be an imposition; they're an opportunity for me to serve God by serving his people. Do I value the time I share with Nicole and Clara apart from my work? Of course I do, and nobody likes to have their dinner or sleep interrupted, but I'll adjust my schedule on a subsequent day and spend that time with my family if I end up spending an evening at the hospital with your family (for example). If I'm on a date with my wife, or at one of my daughter's functions (when she's old enough to have functions, all too soon), I still need to know that you or your family member is in need, and I'll get to that as soon as possible, in all likelihood after my current family obligation ends, but let me make that determination, I can handle it. My commitments as a husband and father are sacrosanct, I won't let my service to the church undermine them (nor should my congregation want me to, in fact it is their duty to prevent me from doing so if I foolish begin down that path), so you need not worry about the day/time when you need to reach out, as I said in the first point, seek my help when you need it.
That's enough for now, hopefully these will be of use.
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