Is the relationship between a pastor and his church like a marriage?

I've been thinking about the turmoil that can happen between a pastor and a church when the relationship goes sour.  I know of several pastors to whom this has happened over the years, some of which you might expect it, and others of whom anyone would be surprised to find them in that situation.  The same could be said of the churches, there are some whose "personality" is such that you aren't surprised to learn they ran another preacher out of town, and others that you thought it would never be involved in a bad pastor/church relationship.
So, is the best analogy to describe the relationship between a pastor and his church the familiar marriage covenant?  On the surface we know that most pastors will not stay at the church they begin with until "death do us part"; in many denominations they have no choice in the matter, a Bishop makes those decisions.  But aside from the realization that the relationship is not forever, the dynamic is very similar.
The foundation of marriage: mutual self-sacrificial behavior, is also crucial to a healthy ministry.  If the pastor simply gives, and the church simply takes (or vice versa) it won't last and it won't be healthy.  Likewise, the policy of honest communication and holding your tongue if you don't have anything constructive to say will help foster peace between a husband and wife as well as between a pastor and his congregation.  This sort of comparison could continue.  In the end, what is needed is a mutual relationship where neither side is dominated and neither side is used or neglected.
If the relationship between a pastor and his church runs into trouble that goes beyond the ordinary bumps in the road the same sort of messy divorce that sadly plagues marriages in America today also occurs.  There will be some who love the pastor and feel upset that he's been shown the door (or left of his own accord) and there will be some who hated the guy and are happy to see him go.  Children who have grown up in a divorced household will recognize this blame game and the guilt and regret that go with it.
Bad endings to a pastor/church relationships cannot be entirely avoided, neither can the hurt feelings that accompany them.  The burden that is placed upon us, as Christians, is to be people of healing and reconciliation.  To follow our God's example and offer second chances to those who have gone astray, and to protect and defend the God ordained relationship between a pastor and his church much as we would a marriage within our own family.  In the end, without mutual sacrifice, respect, and love; no marriage, whether between a husband and wife or a pastor and a church, can be expected to last.

Sermon Video, The Promise of John the Baptist - Luke 1:5-25

The opening act to the Christmas story begins with the morally upright priest Zechariah and his wife Elizabeth.  This ideal Jewish couple have only one problem, they can't have kids.  What would be seen as a difficulty to be overcome today was a shameful deficiency in the 1st Century.  While serving in the Temple, Gabriel appears to Zechariah and promises that God has answered their prayer in the form of a miraculous child who will take up the mantle of the prophet Elijah and lead his people back to their God as well as prepare the way for the Lord's advent.  If this is God's opening act, imagine how amazing the Messiah must be.

To watch the video, click on the link below:
Sermon Video

Sermon Video - Hannah's Sacrifice, I Samuel 1:21-28 and 2:18-21

In part 3 of the series on Hannah, the time of fulfilling her vow to the LORD is at hand.  With young Samuel at her side, Hannah makes the sacrifice to conclude her vow and then present the boy to Eli.  From this day forward, Hannah will still be Samuel's mother, but his care and upbringing will be done by the LORD (through Eli).  Samuel thus begins a lifetime of service to God with daily sacrifices, offerings, worship, and prayer.  What do we take from Hannah's sorrow, triumph, and sacrifice?  That even the righteous must undergo trials to strengthen them for God's greater purpose, that when we endure hardship we should honestly bring our need to the LORD, and that when we are faithful in obedience God will indeed be gracious to us...In case you were wondering, Hannah certainly felt pain when she said goodbye to her son (she continued to visit him), but she was not defeated; for her, the fulfillment of her vow was a victory worth celebrating.  God certainly agreed with her obedience, he blessed her with three more sons and two daughters.

To watch the video, click on the link below:
Sermon Video

Sermon Video, Hannah's Triumph - I Samuel 1:11-20

In part 2 of this 3 part series on Hannah, Hannah makes a vow to the LORD to give her hoped-for child to the LORD in lifelong service if only he will remember his servant and bless her.  In the midst of her praying, the priest Eli scolds Hannah because he mistakes her for a drunkard.  In his embarrassment, Eli in turn blesses Hannah and tells her to "go in peace".  Not long after Hannah becomes pregnant and gives birth to a son, whom she names Samuel, because God remembers her.  The story of Hannah faith and persistence combined with God's mercy toward a faithful servant is one we all can learn from.

To watch the video, click on the link below:
Sermon Video

When God's "No" is a lot smarter than your "yes"

I'm working on part 2 of the Hannah 3 part sermon series that started last week and I just asked the question, "Could God have answered Hannah's prayer even if the answer was 'no'?"  The question came to me in the writing process, so I went with it, and came up with a clear yes to my own question.  God often times answers our prayers by not answering them.  That may seem like a paradox, but it isn't.  The truth is that we often times have very little perspective about our own lives; we can't see the future, we don't know the consequences of our decisions.  As such, how could a loving God who does know these things, give us what we pray for when the result would make things worse? 
That may not make your heartache our worry go away as you continue to pray about something that seems like a no-brainer, but perhaps it will comfort you a little to know that God does indeed hear your prayer, even if the answer is "no" or "not now".
This principle has proven itself numerous times in my life.  It was God's answer that I needed to wait during several rough years of hoping for the help-mate that I wanted in life; it wasn't until several years later that I met my Nicole.  It was God's answer that I needed to wait, again for several years, as I hoped for a ministry opportunity.  He first answered that prayer with the people of Palo, and then, in good time, moved us here to Franklin.  In both cases, I would have wanted to move faster, God wanted me to be useful when I got where I was going.  If I had gotten my way in either case, where would I be now?  I don't know, but I'm here now, doing the will of God and continuing to rely upon the power of prayer.
So why did God answer Hannah's prayer?  For the same reason that he closed her womb in the first place: to bring glory to him name and to bless his people.  You see, Hannah's son, who by her own desperate vow, would spend his life in service to the LORD, would go on to become one of the nation's most important prophets/judges.  How did Samuel end up as a hero of the faith?  God told his mother "not yet".
The next time you feel like giving up on your prayers, like God isn't listening or just doesn't care, consider this: God knows the end from the beginning, he loves the whole world, and he is answering your prayer even if the answer isn't what you want to hear.