In praise of a gentle spirit - Philippians 4:5

There are a couple of popular phrases used by Christians either among themselves or when trying to explain their attitudes to others regarding how confrontational they choose to be: "Hate the sin, but love the sinner" and "speaking the truth in love".  The first phrase is pretty popular, although it is not Biblical, the second is a quote of Paul from Ephesians where he urges it as a mark of Christian maturity in response to false teaching.  It has become apparent, however, especially in the realms of social media and politics, that many Christians (and/or those claiming the name of Christ) struggle mightily with actually loving the sinner and with combing love with truth.  It has been the experience of many that hatred of sin spills quickly over onto the sinner and that zeal for the Truth drowns out love in an effort to "win" the debate.  A mature and balanced Christian will avoid both of those mistakes, thus their prevalence is a sign that many within the Church lack the maturity which they ought to be striving for through the power of the Spirit.
Which brings me to Paul's words in Philippians 4:5, "Let your gentleness be evident to all."  Of the Christians you know, how many would you describe as gentle?  How many would you describe as disagreeable, harsh, or irritable?  In a healthy Church, the answer to those two questions would result in a 90/10 split or higher, with only a few immature people who display angry and rude behavior.  In the Church today, at least here in America, that ratio has slipped, too far, tarnishing the reputation of Christ's Church and imperiling the message of the Gospel of Peace.
How has this happened, what factors are pushing/pulling so many Christians toward confrontational attitudes where the unsaved have become the enemy rather than the mission field?  One of the most obvious negatively contributing factors has been the increasing presence in politics within the Church, as well as the over-identification of political goals and parties with Christian goals and Churches.  This has resulted in an us vs. them attitude, where those who disagree politically about everything from immigration to tax policy, let alone things like abortion or homosexuality, are viewed through a political prism as the enemy to be conquered and destroyed rather than the lost to be invited home to our Father's forgiveness.
A second factor which has negatively impacted the gentleness that Christians are supposed to be displaying is the pseudo-anonymity of social media.  Things a Christian would not say to someone's face are somehow acceptable when responding to a post in your Facebook feed.  This phenomenon is not particular to Christians, online rudeness is rampant throughout society, but it ought not be among a people called by God to make their gentleness evident to all.  As a Christian, are you displaying gentleness both in person and online, or have you decided that the battles you think you must fight give you an excuse to ignore God's Word?  Is your gentleness evident to all?  It should be.